I will create an advanced python virtual assistant tailored to your requirements

Using Python libraries, I can create an artificially intelligent assistant based on your machines requirements, fully equipped with the latest and best features, such as:

Sarcasm detection, gender identification, speaker identification (can save and ask questions when a new speaker is discovered), natural language processing, Speech recognition.

Typical actions:

Recommend (movies, songs and books (learnt from history and proclivities)), Conversions (math and physics units, currency, data (hex oct ascii), Morse), Questions (choice, flattery, calendar, rhetorical summary, pride, personal, user related, program history related), Read project (fetches and read out information on webpages), New project (creates a database of web indexes from google scholar for research), Read notes, Write notes, File management (create/delete files/folders), Preferences (save to preference memory and use it to express advice), Opinion, Advice, Optimizer (if you point out a mistake it will remember it), Greeting, Flattery, Stop timer, Start timer, Countdown, Conversion, Draw, Confirmation, Assertions, and other general conversational functions.